Life on Earth is an Intern Onboarding

Zachary Shirmohammadli
6 min readSep 25, 2021


I am Death. And I must admit that I really like what I do. It is so fulfilling to comfort those who have died and listening to their stories when they were alive on earth. These stories that I hear are sometimes very short but sweet, and sometimes they were filled with sorrow and misery. Nevertheless, how good or bad a story is, I like them because these stories are real and actual people are in them. However sometimes when there are people that are sad because they have died, my work gets a tad harder, but I can manage. But these people shouldn’t be sad because dying is basically like graduating into the second grade or something. Some of the humans thought that death was the end and that there was nothing after that. What a silly idea.

Like I said, my everyday life involves me guiding the deceased humans to the afterlife. Today I will be escorting a young girl. She was a younger spirit, yet she had an experienced aura as if she saw things that should not be. I must be careful not to scare her.

“There she is!”

She fades in from the clouds near the gates of the void.

“Hello, dear traveler. Welcome to the void. My name is Death; nice to meet you.”

As the girl’s eyes adjust to the brightness of the skies and see my figure, she lets out a tiny scream. I don’t blame her for that. Because in the past there have been some mishaps where I accidentally was seen by living humans. Those humans have then been telling other humans what I look like: A tall skeleton creature with a dark ripped robe and a gigantic scythe to slice off the heads of the humans. They are mostly right about my appearance but one thing that they have got wrong is that I do not need a scythe to slice their heads. Ah, don’t be alarmed, I’m simply joking. There is no slicing off heads and I do not own a scythe. Of course, this innocent girl would be terrified of my appearance.

“Erm, hi? Am I dead?” She finally said nervously, calming a little bit.

“As a matter of fact, yes! You have indeed died.”

“Wait, what?” she said incredulously.

“You have lost your physical body on earth and your soul has flown here.”

“Oh,” she said disappointed. “Where exactly is here?”

“The void; where I will be helping you figure out the mysteries of life and go to the next stage,” I spoke.

“Well then, how did I die?” she asked.

“Car crash, I think. Drinking while driving. At least that’s what’s written here in the report that I have.”

“Oh.” she thought for a moment. “So, I’m actually dead? this isn’t a dream or anything?”

“Nope. Not dream. You’re definitely and on hundred percent dead.” I said, kind of tired that she didn’t get it by now. She started to cry then.

“I… I had so… much… life ahead of me… I don’t want to be dead… my mother… my brother… they will never see me again…” She tried to say through her tears.

“It’s ok, you’re ok, you will see your family again,” I said in my most comforting voice, which wasn’t that comforting, but it was an effort. “They’ll die eventually too, and what a reunion that will be.”

“How… how would that make me feel better?” she said confused, tears still in her eyes and voice.

“Well, erm.” I stuttered. “I thought that it would help.”

“Oh, screw this, I’ve got to get back.”

“Back where?”

“Back to life.”

“Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re graduating.” He stated.


“Graduate… move up…. Advance.”

“To… what?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out.”

“Who’s we?”

“You’ll find out soon, but let’s get on with reviewing your life.”

We walked a little bit through the emptiness, towards a light in the distance. She was crying less now, but you could tell she was trying to hold it in. When we were close enough to the light to see that it was actually a door.

Before we walked through, I asked, “Are you ready?” she nodded. I opened the door, and we walked through it. There was a long hallway on the other side. There were windows on the walls, and Death walked up to the first window. It had a baby in her mother’s arms, and the doctors were checking for breathing and applauding the mother. There was no obvious father in the room. “This is your birth,” he said. “a pretty normal one at that, except your father, wasn’t there. Do you know why?”

“Because he abandoned us.” She said with venom.

“From your perspective, yes. What really happened is he died in his car on the way.” I explained calmly.

“What?” she was flabbergasted.

“Yes, it was not your father’s fault that he wasn’t there.” Death thought for a moment. “He was a very interesting soul, very eccentric, but very smart.”

“Well, that changes everything!” She exclaimed. “When can I see him?”

“When we’re done.” Death said patiently. They walked over to the next window. In this window, a toddler was getting out of a car and walked towards the school tripping over her own feet. Then suddenly the sun sped around the sky many times, and people moved incredibly quickly. When it ended, the toddler, now a teenager, walked out with strange clothing and tattoos. “What happened here?” asked Death.

I think at this point I was trying to be a cool kid, I was trying to fit in. Now I look back on it and it was just dumb. Pointless even.” She spoke. They walked over to the next window. Here she was at a party, looking pretty tipsy. She got in a car, tried to drive home, but crashed into another car.

“He died too.” Death said solemnly.

“Who?” She asked confused

“The person you crashed into.”

“Oh,” she said. “I feel so horrible. How do I fix this?” At this point, she realized that her whole life had been a little bit of a waste. Tears streaked down her spiritual face. “I… can I go back?”

Death sighed. “Are you sure you want to?”

Through tears, she thought. “Do I have any other options?”

“Certainly,” said Death. “Would you like to hear them?” Crying, she nodded.

“Well, we can keep on looking at your life, seeing what you could have done better, and what you did well.”

She shook her head, “No, I don’t think I can do that anymore.” Her whole body was shaking at this point.

“Alright, well you can go back to earth, but it won’t teach you anything new. That life was chosen for you because it would teach you best. Or, you can move on to the spirit world, waiting until it’s all finished.”

“Wait, my life was chosen? What’s finished?” Her sobs were slower now, but still there.

“Your life was chosen to teach you all the lessons that you would need.” Death paused. “Your life was short because you were already close to being perfect. Your life may have seemed pointless, but there is a reason. You, as a human, were made to advance. You learned when you were a spirit child about agency and basic right and wrong. You were born to earth, to teach you empathy, and other lessons. Now that you’re dead, you can become perfect. You can progress, improve, etc.” She had stopped crying by now.

“So, humans exist, because we were made to become perfect?”

“Exactly,” Death said, relieved that she finally understood. “When you become perfect, you become a god, and as such, you can create whatever you please. That is our work. To bring about the perfection of man. That is why you will be waiting until it’s all finished in the spirit world, waiting, for perfection.”

They walked together, towards the end of the hallway, towards the new life that was to come. She said her farewells to Death, and he walked back to the void. “Another journey complete” Death whispered to himself, a smile on his face.



Zachary Shirmohammadli

I'm a web developer and designer trying to learn things and solve my and everyone else's problems.